Friday, December 25, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
OMG
Has it really been so long? I haven't blogged in about 5 months. Shame on me! One of these days I really will do a real blog effort
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Answer to Joe Cool
After reading Joe Cool's blog I was inspired to check on the music for some important events in my life.
The time that my Parents conceived me, the song that they were swooning to was "Some Enchanted Evening" By Perry Como.
At the time of my Birth the song of the day was "Mona Lisa" by Sam Cook.
At the time of my Sweet Sixteen it was "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones and "Hanky Panky by Tommie James and the Shondells.
At the time I conceived my first child it was "I'm a Believer" by the Monkees
When I Graduated from High School, The song of the day was "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel
Upon turning 21 the song was "Indian Reservation" by the Raiders
With the coming of my Divorce it was "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles
That was fun Jose! Thanks
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Older Women
As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, or the race she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
OMG I laughed myself silly
A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, or the race she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
OMG I laughed myself silly
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Oh Well
Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers:
They include: Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.
Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help >From Depends.
The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?
Bobby Darin --- Splish , Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Roberta Flack --- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now!
Paul Simon --- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
Procol Harem --- A Whiter Shade of Hair.
Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Abba --- Denture Queen!
Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore!
Leslie Gore --- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want Too!
Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again!!
They include: Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.
Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help >From Depends.
The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?
Bobby Darin --- Splish , Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Roberta Flack --- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now!
Paul Simon --- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
Procol Harem --- A Whiter Shade of Hair.
Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Abba --- Denture Queen!
Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore!
Leslie Gore --- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want Too!
Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Words to live by
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...
'Oh shit....she's awake!!
'Oh shit....she's awake!!
Oh so True
After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said,
'Let me see if I've got this right: You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually- transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self-esteem and personal pride.
You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.
You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams.
You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.You want me to do all this, and then you tell me...I CAN'T PRAY???!!!!
Oh but this is so True
'Let me see if I've got this right: You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually- transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self-esteem and personal pride.
You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.
You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams.
You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.You want me to do all this, and then you tell me...I CAN'T PRAY???!!!!
Oh but this is so True
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Block
Dang, I am having Blogger Block. This is sorry! Boring life with nothing to blog about. Crap! Well, tomorrow is my Birthday. Just another year older,,,bummer
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
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